Bokehful: An App Review by Magic Marco
It’s the Japanese term for the aesthetic quality of blur. In plain English? Pretty shit. And by pretty shit I mean the colorful, rainbow, mystical looking fuzzy dots you see in pics. The kind of shit chicks dig. And if they could, they’d bokeh the shit out of every pic they ever took. Hell, they’d probably wear bokeh contact lens if there such a thing. LensCrafters, take note. I want royalties if you run with my idea.
But yo, to avoid the risk of sounding sexist, I’m sure there a lots of dudes with bokeh fetish as well.
You go girl. I mean, dude! My man. Put it there.
Have I got the perfect photo-editing app for you. Thanks to the fine folks over at ActiveDevelopment, you can now bokeh your ass off. Go ahead, go crazy and bokeh your entire camera roll if you please. And you can do it all with ease. Just go to the app store and download yourself a copy of Bokehful.
Okay, I decided to show you a couple screen saves of the app in action to help illustrate the ease of how you can prettify your pic. In the pic above, I’ve already loaded my victim…I mean pic I’d like to
fuck up edit. Notice the circle, star, heart and hexagon. All shapes you can change the bokeh brush to. I know, some of you are upset that the heart isn’t the default brush. But don’t fret. Just tap your fat ass finger on it and switch. To the right you’ll notice the colors that the brush will paint. If you tap or swipe on the rectangle, you can change how frequent each hue appears when you start painting the effect on. To the left of the brush shapes you’ll notice the Undo icon. Sorry folks, no eraser brush. If you fuck up, just tap on Undo and try again. Sooner or later you’ll get it right. And finally, to the far left, you’ll notice the color pinwheel. Obviously for switching colors. Duh. I’ma go ahead and tap on it to switch colors. Pay attention.
Once the color pinwheel appears you can spin it Wheel-Of-Fortune style, which I did. I picked green and tah-dah! I will now use my fat ass index finger as a brush and begin
fucking up bokehfying my pic. Watch.
As you can see, there are two groups of pretty fuzzy shit around my subject’s head. That is because I lifted my finger and painted on the other side. If I tap on the Undo icon, the last group will be erased. Tap it again, then the first. And so forth and so on. Okay, let’s say I was ready to cream my pants over how awesome the bokehfied pic looks and I’m beyond stoked to share with the world. Well, I would tap on the Share tab on the top right which will bring up the screen below.
You’ll notice all the usual suspects for sharing. The ones people actually give a shit about anyway. And so, yeah….there you have it folks. Bokehful.
What more can I say about it? Nothing actually.
Oh, it’s $Free.99. So take your cheap ass to the app store, download and start showing the world, “Hey world! I can bokeh too! See?! I am sooo mothereffin’ bokehfied!” You go.
This is my app pick for the week. Maybe for the month. I don’t fuckin’ know. Either way, I’ll catch you stankin’ ass mofos on the next post.
Signing off, your boy,
What’s that you say? You wanna read some of my other App reviews? Okay. Just click on my name, Marco L., at the top of the page. And if you’re in the mood for jokes, discussions and some of the most beautiful images mankind has ever seen, be sure to visit me on Instagram @magicmarco